Please answer true or false to each of these 24 statements:
You put your elbows on both armrests, even if there is someone sitting next to you.
You don’t pay much attention to the rules about when you are supposed to board. So what if they turn you away now and then? It is worth a try!
Most airline employees are incompetent idiots, and you can't help letting them know the truth every now and then.
You like to talk on your cell phone and don't care if it annoys others.
You are skilled at multi-tasking – walking on the plane, dealing with your luggage, talking on your cell phone all at once. Sure, you sometimes stand in the aisle a little longer and bump into people, but it is a good use of YOUR time.
You love to crank up your iPod -- too bad for the people around you who get to hear a pounding bass line for 5 hours.
You talk on your cell phone or type away on your Blackberry for an extra few minutes after the flight attendant announces that all electronic devices should be turned-off.
You like to take your shoes off after a long day – it is so much more comfortable that way (who cares if your feet stink a little).
Even before the plane takes-off, most people around you know your travel plans and most of your life story.
Your young children are so adorable, of course other passengers won't mind keeping them entertained while you catch up on your reading.
If you travel with young children, you leave all the animal cracker crumbs, cheerios, and candy wrappers on the floor when you leave. Somebody else can clean it up.
You like to get the most for your money, so you ask for as many cans of soda and bags of peanuts as you can, saving the extras for the drive home.
You get annoyed when other people ask you for help with their luggage – and you never offer to help those who are struggling with their luggage.
You don't devote much attention to the rules about carry-on luggage – there is always someplace to put it.
You love to read over your neighbor's shoulder.
You press the flight attendant call button at least a couple of times each flight, especially when the flight attendants are busy doing other things.
You like to leave your window shade open so you can see out, even when others are watching a movie.
You have a lot of miles on the airline and make sure that every employee understands that you deserve superior service.
You leave your seat even though the “fasten seatbelt sign” is still on – after all, it is a good way to beat the rush to the restroom.
If your flight is late, you make sure that the flight attendants, pilots and all your seatmates know about how much inconvenience it has caused you.
When airline employees enforce regulations or company policies that you don’t like, you often berate them because things don’t change unless customers complain.
You practice questionable hygiene in your seat – like filing nails, picking your ears, scratching, and biting your nails.
You leave garbage in the seat-pocket in front of you (Tip: Don’t forget to put your well-chewed gum in the barf bag!).
You take off your seatbelt a bit before the plane gets to the gate, so you are ready to jump out of your seat.
O to 2 - If your answers are true, you are a flying angel, not a flying arse. I hope to see you on my next flight.
3 to 5 - You sound like a generally civilized passenger to me.
6 to 12 - You are a borderline "Flying ARSE."
Over 12 - You are a certified "Flying ARSE." I hope that you don't sit near me.
Over 18 - You are a certified "Flaming Flying ARSE." I wish that airlines could ban you from flying.
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